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 just for a laugh 
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Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2009 5:48 pm
Posts: 98
Location: Canberra
Post Mass Communication
I was just reading a recent academic paper on mass communications. The University of Inconsequential Studies has completed its research on this matter and found that the three fastest forms of mass communication are:
Television
Telephone, and
Tell a woman.

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Sat Sep 19, 2009 8:42 pm
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Posts: 409
Post 
C'n'O,
A follow on to that research revealed that women can keep secrets.
It just takes more of them to do it!
SD

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Sat Sep 19, 2009 9:00 pm
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Posts: 751
Location: Perth WA
Post 
You guys are on shaggy ground ;0

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Sat Sep 19, 2009 9:06 pm
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Joined: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:24 pm
Posts: 67
Location: Burpengary Qld and ZhangZhou China
Post 
[font="]Psychopath Test
[/font]
[font="]Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the[/font][font="] bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads.No one I know has got it right.[/font][font="]

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did [/font][font="]Not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her dream[/font][font="] guy so much, that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his[/font][font="] number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.[/font][font="]

Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?[/font][font="][Give this some thought before you answer)

[/font][font="]Answer:[/font][font="]She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you[/font][font="] answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by [/font][font="]a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same[/font][font="] mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly.

[/font][font="]If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you.

[/font][font="]If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off [/font][font="]my email list.[/font]

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Sat Sep 19, 2009 10:55 pm
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Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2009 8:45 pm
Posts: 218
Location: Home is where the MH is parked...
Post 
Coyote wrote:
[font="]Psychopath Test [/font]
[font="]Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the[/font][font="] bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads.No one I know has got it right.[/font]

[font="]A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did [/font][font="]Not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her dream[/font][font="] guy so much, that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his[/font][font="] number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.[/font]

[font="]Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?[/font][font="][Give this some thought before you answer)[/font]

[font="]Answer:[/font][font="]She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again. [/font]

[font="].[/font]


My first thought was that he was her sisters husband !! she had never met him as she was estranged from her sister....

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Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:51 pm
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Location: Burpengary Qld and ZhangZhou China
Post 
sparrow wrote:
My first thought was that he was her sisters husband !! she had never met him as she was estranged from her sister....


Too much thought into that answer, I think I should check my e-mail address list LOL

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Sun Sep 20, 2009 5:58 pm
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Location: Burpengary Qld and ZhangZhou China
Post Tourism Ausi style
__________________________________________________

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ?
I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow ? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

__________________________________________________

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ?
Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns ,Townsville and HerveyBay ? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?

__________________________________________________

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? (USA)


A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe ..
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... oh forget it.
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

__________________________________________________

Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send
the rest of the directions.

_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

__________________________________________________

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is .
... oh forget it.
Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross,
straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? (UK )

A: You are a British politician, right?

____________________________ ______________________

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany


A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.

__________________________________________________

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum.
(USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make
good pets.

__________________________________________________

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name.
It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )


A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees
and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

__________________________________________________

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me
where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

__________________________________________________

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is
smaller than the male population ? ( Italy )


A: Yes, gay night clubs.

__________________________________________________

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.

__________________________________________________

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while
[font="] I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? ( USA )

A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..

__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first


[/font]

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Tell me and I will Forget, Show me and I will remember, Involve me and I will understand.


Sun Sep 20, 2009 6:02 pm
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Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2009 9:22 pm
Posts: 34
Post True story
Love it Coyote!

Reminds me of something that I was involved in ... 100% true, I kid you not.
Late 70's, north Queensland, military exercise.
I was with a long-range radar unit, on a mountain top hi above Rockhampton. Our site was a public reserve, the then mayor wouldn't permit us to close the site to the public, which caused us many difficulties.

On day, a bloke (tourist) dressed in a flowery Hawaiian shirt, his wife and two kids came wandering through our "secret" site. Not good!
Another bloke and myself went and intercepted them, saying that it was not safe for them to be wandering about due to RF radiation etc.

He gave us a dirty look, and said " well you blokes haven't died yet I see".
We were dressed in our green uniform, and pointed out to him that his clothes were bright red, whereas ours were green, and green is impervious to RF radiation. "Bullshit" he roared ... you can't tell me that crap!"
Then we asked him "are the trees dead? What colour are they?"

He took his family and bolted back down the mountain!


Sun Sep 20, 2009 8:12 pm
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Location: Aldinga Beach SA (in the Fleurieu peninsula)99 Mistubishi Challenger, 1980 Jayco Songbird 15' poptop
Post 
A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape,
was sunbathing on a mostly deserted beach at Ft. Myers ,
Florida .

She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good
shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near
hers and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with
him. "How are you today?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back
to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here
often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away 2 years
ago," he replied and turned back to his book.

"I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away
three years ago and it is very lonely," she countered.
"Do you live around here?" She asked.

"Yes, I live over in Cape Coral ," he answered,
and again he resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, she
persisted," Do you like pussycats?"

With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her
blanket, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most
passionate lovemaking of her life.

When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and
asked the man, "How did you know that was what I
wanted?"

The man replied. "How did you know my name was Katz?"

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Sun Sep 20, 2009 8:16 pm
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Location: Burpengary Qld and ZhangZhou China
Post 
Hey Ruffnut, I will bet your "tourists" had an American accent

And Frank and Brenda, you got me, I love trying to second guess Jokes and did not have a hint, Top stuff.

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Tell me and I will Forget, Show me and I will remember, Involve me and I will understand.


Sun Sep 20, 2009 8:44 pm
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