Gurky,
Maybe I should encourage my Fox Terrier to have a red or two.
SD

I was in Lightning Ridge last week and had a bit of legal stuff to sort out so was at the Court House. While there I listened in on an interesting case.

A young indigenous bloke was up before the beak charged with killing a protected animal, to wit, a Wombat that he had been caught eating. His defence was that he had found it on the road after it had been hit by a car and killed - not wanting to waste good meat, he cut off a rump and cooked it up.
The police prosecutor pointed out that it was the the young blokes car that hit it, and he'd been seen chasing the beast for 5 minutes to do just that.

The young bloke (Dean, I think his name was) then apologised and said he'd never do such a thing again and threw himself on the mercy of the court. The beak gave him a stern warning and let him off.

As he was leaving, the beak called him back and said "I've always wondered what one of those tough buggers would taste like? - how did it cook up?"

Dean replied, "Ahhh, about somewhere between Koala and Platypus"

Cheers
Ian

C'n'O,
Good one .
Reminds me of a story a bloke told me whilst waiting for a train in Port Augusta.
He reckoned he had just been up before the beak for stealing a sheep, bit hungry.
The beak hit him with a fine of 2 quid or hard labour.
He asked the beak what the hard labour was and the Beak replied,. Washing the constables car.
Bugger that , he said can I have time to pay.
The Beak said disdainfully, 2 quid how long do you need to pay 2 quid?
Enough time to flash down the pub and bite me mate the bloke says.
He got his time.

Actually I had just come down from The Alice on the old Ghan, bit slow. A shiela was crying and howling that the birth of her baby was imminent.
The guard said to her why in the hell did you get on the train if you knew you were going to have a baby.
She says I wasn't pregnant when I got on the damn thing!

True story. Would I lie to you?

Keep 'em coming.
Take it easy.
SD

Ok OK here's one for the romantics out there

Love Poem


Of course I love ya darlin
You're a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you're gorgeous
I mean every single word
So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin there to grab
So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there
No sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best
I'm tellin' ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think its very sexy
That you've got dimples on ya thighs
I swear on me nanna's grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get
No matter what u look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the footy's on
And fetch another beer

F'n'B,
Love it.
The NSB is away ,in between time I will print it out and put it on the fridge ready for her return tomorrow.

I shall blame you have no fear.

Take it easy,
SD

Gee Thanks, I'll deny till I'm blue in the face:)

Frank and Brenda......that's a classic, I'm already trying to memorize it. You never know when it might come in handy. Cheers Bob.

CJ,
I like your tag, sounds as though you have refined it slightly.
Never been great so I will just have to settle for freckle.
Take it easy,
SD

Yeah Shaggy, refined it a little bit. I better go and get a beer now, I'm that thirsty I could drink a gallon of gorillas wee wee, strained through a bus drivers sock, I've been as busy as a one-legged bloke in a bum kicking comp. Cheers.

Ok this isnt quite as good as the holy manure pic in the first pic but.

http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq117/cretsiah/Photo29.jpg

If you look closely at the tree trunk you will see that there is a cut line in it. if you look long enough you will also notice that the cut lines dont match up.

there is a couple of mm of overhang around the cut line that makes it look like someone cut it in half then put the top half back on without quite matching the protrusions.