just for a laugh

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cretsiah
On a roll
Posts: 66
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2009 9:16 am
Location: western victoria

just for a laugh

Post by cretsiah » Mon Aug 24, 2009 4:48 pm

any1 in there travels seen this?

http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq11 … hoto23.jpg

it was outside a church so i hope no church goers get offended..
2000 Toyota Prado 3ltr Diesel, 1979 EzyTow Caravan.

Ruffnut
An old hand
Posts: 680
Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2009 9:22 pm

Sunday plate

Post by Ruffnut » Sat Sep 05, 2009 10:36 pm

Hello cretsiah, you just reminded me of a joke …

A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi are having a beer after services on Sunday afternoon, they are discussing how they divvy the money up collected in “the plate”.

The Minister says he has a scarlet cloth folded in a triangle on the floor, he tips the plate over the cloth .. what stays on the cloth goes to the church, that which rolls off he keeps.

The Priest says he does much the same, but his cloth is rectangular and placed on the altar.

The Rabbi says “I toss all the money up in the air, God takes what he wants, the rest is mine!”

Shaggy Dog

Post by Shaggy Dog » Sun Sep 06, 2009 8:29 am

Ruffy,

I heard tell of a church in Sydney where the Minister used to put a few bob in the bag before she was passed around as some sort of encouragement to the troops.

He reckoned when he got her back sometimes there was less in it than the original float. I shall not divulge the location.

Yeah I have been in a church, an altar boy and choir boy from many years ago and no cheek from any of you lot.

Take it easy.
SD

Lance
Rising star
Posts: 2935
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:56 pm
Location: Melbourne

Post by Lance » Sun Sep 06, 2009 10:19 am

You’d be proud of me SD.


Twice I hit the reply button and typed a reply, and then deleted it.;)


Something about

nah doesn’t matter…………………:p
Lance & Anne
……always on the lookout for places & dates for Folk/Blues Music Festivals

SLWB HiAce Campervan
600kg home build TearDrop Camper

Shaggy Dog

Post by Shaggy Dog » Sun Sep 06, 2009 10:44 am

Lance,

Something along the lines of:

There was a young pastor named Bings
Who talked of God and such things
But his secret desire
Was a boy in the choir
With a bottom like jelly, on springs!

Enough irreverent verse.

Take it easy.
SD

Lance
Rising star
Posts: 2935
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:56 pm
Location: Melbourne

Post by Lance » Sun Sep 06, 2009 11:31 am

Nothing at all along those lines mate………….



Yeah …………OK…………I lie



Mighta been sumpin like that:rolleyes:
Lance & Anne
……always on the lookout for places & dates for Folk/Blues Music Festivals

SLWB HiAce Campervan
600kg home build TearDrop Camper

Shaggy Dog

Post by Shaggy Dog » Mon Sep 07, 2009 7:42 pm

One for OT,
I mentioned I take my sextant on some of our travels.
Haven’t used it for some time.
I took a couple of shots from my back patio today, first sunny day in a while. My house according to my calculations is now displaced some 62 nautical miles in the Southern Ocean on a heading of 197 degrees from my patio.
Me thinks I had better do my sums again.
Take it easy.
SD

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Old Techo
Over 10 kay Club
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Joined: Fri Dec 26, 2008 1:23 pm
Location: Melbourne

Post by Old Techo » Mon Sep 07, 2009 7:52 pm

Shags, presumably you verified your new found position at sea by ‘heaving the lead’ from your front gate?
Regards, Old Techo
2007 Prado Grande Diesel Auto
2004 Roadstar Limited Edition

gurky
An old hand
Posts: 583
Joined: Tue May 08, 2012 10:55 am
Location: Casino Resort, NSW

I’ll drink to that!

Post by gurky » Mon Sep 07, 2009 7:57 pm

One afternoon, Cliff was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here’s how it went:

“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

“In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of wine eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!

“That’s why you always feel smarter after a few wines.”

Cheers…
Winnebago Birdsville

Shaggy Dog

Post by Shaggy Dog » Mon Sep 07, 2009 8:03 pm

OT,
I know it must be wrong as me foots are still dry.
The Noisy Scrub Bird is away attending to the arrival of a new grandchild so the only thing I am heaving is a red or two down the gullet.
I have the two dogs for company, I have been trying to teach one to read a stop watch and put a paw at the appropriate place on the watch when I say Mark as I take a sun shot with the sextant.
Silly bugger cannot pick Mark from Bark and runs around in circles barking its bloody head off as I yell Mark and placing a perfectly good watch in some jeopardy.
It is always hard to find good crew but being reduced to a lunatic Fox Terrier really is doing it tough.
Wheres that bottle of red.
All the above is true or whatever you select to be so.
Take it easy.
SD

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